Category: Moggy Blogs

Reader,

At last the lovely sunny weather has arrived, but you wouldnt know it cause it was coming down in buckets all day today…. I know this, because I have been sitting here in the snug window, watching the aforementioned rain whilst (really) watching out out for a certain big white moggy who wont take the hint!

It’s a stand off! … but who’s that nosey so ‘n so

The reason I’m stuck here in limbo, incarceration, quarantine (call it what you will) is on account of my claw fight with a neighboorhood imposter who had the gall to repeatedly step on my patch of turf. Over the past three weeks I’ve been spraying and spraying to warn him to stay away,but ohhh noo, he didn’t take heed did he ….well this show down had been on the scratching post for months.

It all came to a head Friday last. And now, here I am like the prisoner in Behan’s jail, trussed up in this stupid headdress, cum bonnet so kindly loaned me by the Vet. And since I’ve got this extra time on my paws I thought I’d relate to you, dear reader, the story.

I lay dozing in the shade of my favourite pine when I saw, out the corner of my eye (as y’do), strolling casually down MY garden path, a big white beast of a moggy. To cut a long story short, I kept watching and he (the upstart!) began to nestle down in MY borage patch.

Well, I jumped up and trotted over for a closer peek and then when he saw me the ‘I’m not budging’ standoff began.

Twenty minutes later, we’re still stood staring there, growling, muewing and hissing at each other. ‘White Body Black Tail’ as I like to call him, but my humans think of as ‘Patch’ (for obvious, unimaginative reasons), was slowly realising the error of his ways…

The final straw was his lunge at my face as he passed me, I turned swiftly and ran down the path in chase, but he was as fast as me and made the six foot fence in ten bounds. The Imposter was defeated but I was in one of those frisky moods, having been forced into spending the whole day in the garret…. and I followed upwards just for the heck of it. My sharp claws digging in to the old wood to help my climb…. Sadly, I then slipped (hope no one was watching) and (it tuns out) ripped a claw off in the process. Oh the pain… I strolled back home proud but bowed.

‘White Body Black Tail’ was gone but I had paid the price. For my sins the kindly (not) Vetinary Nurse presented me with a spring bonnet and slipped it on without my consent. Oh how I absolutely loathe it. The damn wound is itching like crazy and I can’t now get to lick it better.

[ Mini heatwave here in England folks, hot on the heels of the wettest drought on record ( the day after the drought was announced it rained for a month and a half)! , Ed]

I have been lolling in the shade today making a few feline observations on life, the Universe and the humans in our care which I thought I would share with you.

…just settling down in the cool borage

Not two days ago my Tom human had his fleecy jacket on, zipped tight against the cold, but today he has exposed those pale, stubbly legs to the unexpected sunshine and, I’m sorry to say, it’s not a pretty sight at all, although he doesn’t seem to think so (bless).
However there are other interesting things to look at to gladden a cat’s eye. There are bluebells swaying in the breeze and bees buzzing in the Borage, (if only I could raise the energy to give them a quick bat). Birds are busying themselves all over the sky, each one with its own unique song (and most delicious they all sound too).

The humans are caught up in watching The Chelsea Flower Show and dreaming of having a calm, ordered Japanese garden with trickling streams and carefully clipped bonsai trees. But flower shows and the humans in my care, have seemed to miss the glaringly obvious – that whether you have a rustic French jardin, a manicured Elizabethan knot garden or a yard with a few pots of cheery geraniums, the most beautiful thing of all for the heart to see is a happy cat mooching around and bringing the garden to life with its inquisitive, furry, fabulous ways. So please let me suggest, to any readers who have a garden but no puss, that a visit to your local cattery or cat rescue center would bring even more sunshine into your life and complete the little patch of earth you call home perfectly, plus they will help with the digging in their own way, honestly!

Love and purrs to all,

Norman. x x

Dear fellow cats,

Well that time is upon us again when, in England anyway, the rain feels slightly warmer on your fur: yes summer is here! Birds whoosh past at jaw dropping speed, whilst in the house some dastardly scheming is going on.

Norman’s all set for the Summer break

I’ve noticed my adopted family sitting at the computer for hours looking at pictures of blue seas, sunny skies and all kinds of maps and charts. They’re making furtive phone calls too, after shooing me out of the room…well I ask you? So, I’m going to be packed off to the local cattery again for a couple of weeks’ incarceration am I?

Well I’ve decided that this year I am going to handle this awful situation differently: no sulking and skulking, refusing to eat the cattery food and menacing my neighbours with rock hard stares…, no, this year I’ve decided I’m going to get some PPMA, that’s short for Positive Pusscat Mental Attitude , don’t you know!

This will begin when, without cracking a smile, I watch the family pack their funny looking selection of multi-coloured clothing that they wouldn’t be seen dead in at home into their silly bags that roll along the ground. I will keep my PPMA on the long journey to the cattery, when I shall sing along with the radio instead of howling my disgust and emptying my bowels in despair (not a pleasant smell for any of us in such a small car, and a strategy that has failed to work time and again).

Once settled into my prison, sorry ‘lap of luxury’ cat kennel, I shall watch the birds in the sky instead of every flipping aeroplane that passes. No more then the dream of my family’s return and the questioning why oh why I couldn’t go with them. Instead I’ll be meditating on the lovely welcome, and fishy treats, I always get when I get home and the emotional blackmail I can wield for a couple of weeks (at least) until we are all back in our daily routines. It’s just lovely to feel so positive about it all!

Yes, this year, I am going to enjoy this summer break more than ever and because of this new found resolve I send my regards, best wishes and love to all cats and their owners, wherever you are, for a peaceful, relaxing and happy summer 2010.

Norm

XXX

… and checking his blooms